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The Sheriff's Job

Now this Sheriff's job is a curious one;

Like the housewife's work, it's never done.

Calls come by the night and come by the day,

They may be near, or miles away.

Do hurry up, says the voice of the caller.

You're badly needed in Possum Holler.

Paw's on a rampage; he's got a gun;

Been Looking for Maw since half-past one.

So we jump in our car and hit the trail.

And drive like a srteamliner carrying the mail.

Our only hope and all we can figure, 

Is to be on hand when Paw pulls the trigger.

We finally arrive and amid confusion-

We learn the affair was a simple delusion.

Paw with his gun was just hunting squirrels.

Maw had gone to school with the two oldest girls.

Next day we're hunting a mottleface cow;

That night we referee a nice family row.

Now, that's just a sample of what we do;

And endless variety of the old and the new.

It may be a prowler, a burglar , a drunk;

He may steal your billfold; your watch or your trunk.

We set out to catch him, and we do our best;

We catch our percentage and lose the rest;

We can't catch them all, for some leave no clue-

They don't leave their cards, like the candidates do.

Sometimes they plead guilty, and the judge will scold.

Then half the county will want them paroled.

They blame the depression, the new deal, the tariff-

But most of the folks put the blame on the Sheriff.

So, it's quite a game, if you stay right in-

You'll get a pat on the back, and sock on the chin.

But, I like it, and I'm shedding no tears-

And I'd like to be your Sheriff for the next four years.

(Author Unknown) Published in the Falmouth Outlook-25 years ago)